
I haven’t blogged for a while. Life intervenes with little challenges. Right now I’m dealing with getting my son through the first term in university. It’s a struggle. He’s up to the challenge but there have been some substantial road blocks. Epilepsy being first and foremost on the list. Our health care in Canada may be free but it is sure hard to get an appointment with a specialist.
Still life proceeds whether I will it or not. I sometimes wonder how much of a mark any of us leave. All the effort we put in for ourselves, for our kids, for loved ones, at work…what does it amount to?
I’m tired and that often leads to a state of exasperation when I feel I have no time for myself. I need to tweak my schedule so that I can start working out again, so I can get back to BJJ, so I can spend more time with Annette, walk the dogs, fix the deck, wash my filthy car.
I always feel like I’m on the brink of some kind of epiphany that will allow me, this time, to pursue my goals all the way past the endless obstacles. I’d like to write, start an online business, get really fit, travel more, climb a mountain. Mark Twight might ask “what am I waiting for…I’m not going to live forever”. The thing is, I beat myself over the had with that concept every day. And eventually, I become resigned to my failure, reset, and try again. It emphasizes my humanity while failing to deliver results. Maybe I don’t want it enough, maybe I’m trying to do too much, maybe my stressors are too mild, or too numerous.
The reality is there are very few people who excel in any one aspect of their lives. We are mediocre by design maybe. But it seems that a good theory might be that in order to be happy a need to be exceptional in only a single facet of our lives. More than that is a bonus. The theory is I think, sound, because whatever I choose, the discipline it takes to get there will set me up for the next experience / journey.
The proof is in the pudding they say. What pudding? And who is “they”. Time to choose my pudding. What should I tackle, to the exclusion of most everything else?
I’ll let you know with the results. Annette knows because I’ve asked for her help. But she’ll never tell.
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