I am as stressed about school as I have ever been. Well, not school so much as worrying about my kid’s stress.
I don’t always pay attention and I missed some of the cues that would have let me understand that my older son was fretting about what to expect during the first couple of weeks at Queen’s University here in Kingston. He has a ton of questions. How do I get there? Where do I buy books? What events do I attend? What events can I skip. Where are the classes?
Listening is a tough skill to use and leverage 100% of the time. In my own defense, I usually pick up on things eventually but teenagers manifest the symptoms of stress before they ask for help. Most of the time they don’t ask for help at all. In such cases body language and short tempers are usually the best indicators of stress.
So my approach for back to school is to spend the time it takes to map out the process with my son. What to expect. Even more important, what to do if the process starts to fall apart. If it looks like you are enrolled in the wrong class or are missing something, DON’T PANIC, It can be fixed. If you can’t find the class, don’t worry. Missing a class or two is ok. We’ll figure it out. I like contingency plans but more importantly, I need to try and teach their importance and to let them see how to prepare for the unknown.
The bigger issue today, is that work has taken me 8 hours away to a meeting in another city. I am not there to act as back up, or to smooth the process and answer questions. There is a big chunk of confidence that comes from knowing someone has your back. In this case the boy’s mum stepped in. That drops MY anxiety level.
It’s lunch time now and I just got off the phone with my sons. My 15 year old is cooking himself lunch and “couldn’t” come to the phone. He is starting grade 11 at his normal school and this is a non-event for him. My older son just got back from the starting of “FROSH” week. He discovered that the orientation is for the entire school and not just his faculty, so he skipped it. Crowds are just not his thing. Instead, after a breakfast with his mum, he checked out all his class locations and planned to return tomorrow for his faculty orientation. So it all worked out.
So I can quit worrying. For this afternoon anyway











