life, kids, and brazilian jiu jitsu

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Parenting

Back to school stress

Written By: admin - Sep• 07•11

I am as stressed about school as I have ever been. Well, not school so much as worrying about my kid’s stress.

I don’t always pay attention and I missed some of the cues that would have let me understand that my older son was fretting about what to expect during the first couple of weeks at Queen’s University here in Kingston. He has a ton of questions. How do I get there? Where do I buy books?  What events do I attend?  What events can I skip.  Where are the classes?

Listening is a tough skill to use and leverage 100% of the time.  In my own defense, I usually pick up on things eventually but teenagers manifest the symptoms of stress before they ask for help.  Most of the time they don’t ask for help at all.  In such cases body language and short tempers are usually the best indicators of stress.

So my approach for back to school is to spend the time it takes to map out the process with my son.  What to expect.  Even more important, what to do if the process starts to fall apart.  If it looks like you are enrolled in the wrong class or are missing something, DON’T PANIC,  It can be fixed.  If you can’t find the class, don’t worry.  Missing a class or two is ok.  We’ll figure it out.  I like contingency plans but more importantly, I need to try and teach their importance and to let them see how to prepare for the unknown.

The bigger issue today, is that work has taken me 8 hours away to a meeting in another city.  I am not there to act as back up, or to smooth the process and answer questions.  There is a big chunk of confidence that comes from knowing someone has your back.  In this case the boy’s mum stepped in.  That drops MY anxiety level.

It’s lunch time now and I just got off the phone with my sons.  My 15 year old is cooking himself lunch and “couldn’t” come to the phone.  He is starting grade 11 at his normal school and this is a non-event for him.  My older son just got back from the starting of “FROSH” week.  He discovered that the orientation is for the entire school and not just his faculty, so he skipped it.  Crowds are just not his thing.  Instead, after a breakfast with his mum, he checked out all his class locations and planned to return tomorrow for his faculty orientation.  So it all worked out.

So I can quit worrying.  For this afternoon anyway :)

Kingston, Ontario is a great place to live

Written By: admin - Sep• 05•11

Really?

Well…Yes.

I actually targeted Kingston years ago as one of the better spots to live in Canada for a number of reasons:

  1. It’s not too big.  Easy to navigate, little traffic and low crime.
  2. It is not too small.  All the services are here and Toronto, Montreal and Ottawa are not that far away.
  3. Close to Family in Toronto and Ottawa.
  4. Moderate climate (for Canada).  Reasonable in the summer and winter, not too much snow or rain.
  5. Good schools.  Queen’s, St. Lawrence College, RMC.
  6. Good hospitals; KGH and Hotel Dieu
  7. It’s pretty.  Limestone buildings, the canal, the lake, Fort Henry.  Many parks and green spaces.
  8. Reasonable home prices.

Getting in shape for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

Written By: admin - Sep• 04•11

The first two classes after being off for a month left me bruised and sore.  I gassed quickly and then got sloppy as I tired.  Such is life.

I also feel rejuvenated and keen to train which is an improvement for sure.

I did ok in open mat of Friday.  My concentration at the moment is to try and flow better, anticipate my opponents actions, and stop muscling through situations.

We worked on our butterfly sweeps and I did ok.  The first thing I noticed was that Aidan has grown again and is one heavy kid.  The second was that Lex does a terrific job of killing the arm on the side to which he is sweeping me.  He’s also a good rolling partner and passes on little things to help my game.

Annette will be teaching Yoga on Tuesday nights so I am now going to be doing yoga once a week. It will help my flexibility so it was going to happen anyway. Even better that it is with Annette.

 

Air Canada’s Maple Leaf Lounge / AMEX Platinum Aeroplan

Written By: admin - Sep• 04•11

In order to get my last required Aeroplan points for our trip to Europe, I got an American Express Platinum Aeroplan credit card.  Among the benefits was access to the Maple Leaf Lounge at the airports.

Traveling on Aeroplan points is cool except you can get stuck with some pretty sketchy routing.  That meant 8 hours in Montreal on the outbound trip and 5 hours in London Heathrow on the way back.  That’s a lot of time to spend in plastic backed chairs in the departure lounges.  It is also a lot of money to be spent on airport food.

Fortunately I was able to get our whole party into the Maple Leaf Lounge at both airports.  It isn’t cheap.  It cost 25$ each in Montreal and 12 pounds in London.  It was worth it.  The food and drinks are then part of the deal, as are comfy chairs, magazines, Wifi and TV.  It made the time pass a lot more comfortably.

Roma, Rome for the Canadian traveler with teens

Written By: admin - Sep• 03•11

Tips, tricks and notes:

  1. If you have never traveled with a single carry on bag then you are missing out big time.  It is easy, saves money, saves the wear and tear of baggage handling, makes carrying easier and does not leave you wanting for items you would have packed in a bigger bag.  We bought one of these and three of these.  We were the first through customs, and didn’t pull any muscles lugging around our luggage :)
  2. Summer in Rome is really hot BUT it is bearable.  Much of the walking can be done in the narrow streets and alleys and they are considerably cooler than the open squares.
  3. A/C in your room is a must.
  4. Dress in light colored synthetics and yes shorts are ok.  Synthetics dry quickly and are NOT the polyester nightmares that are aunt wore.  We brought zip-off convertible pants and they worked well.
  5. If you want to fit in a bit, then make sure you stay away from clothes covered in logos and wear a shoe that isn’t blatantly athletic.  We didn’t see a single baseball cap but many people wear Tilley style hats to keep the sun off.
  6. Some churches require that your shoulders are covered and women can buy one of the inexpensive shawls from the plethora of vendors for a couple of Euros if they need one.
  7. Jeans would be terribly hot plus they don’t dry quickly if you wash them.  The Italians DO wear jeans and they are more often than not quite tight.
  8. In general Italians seem to dress up a bit more than we do.  Women wear more dresses and skirts and they but their clothes so that they fit properly (no oversize baggy clothing).
  9. Street vendors will sell you a 330 ml bottle of water for 2E and a coke for 3E.  Instead, find a grocery store because they will sell you a six pack for less than that.  It’s even cheaper if you buy no-name.
  10. Pack a super lightweight day-pack in your bag.  You can carry drinks, snacks, wipes, tylenol, bandages (for blisters) and your maps and guide books.
  11. We stayed at Hotel Smeraldo for 160E per night for two adjoining rooms.  That included breakfast and they arranged a taxi from the hotel for 50E (it was at 4am).  The hotel is a 5 minute walk from Piazza Navona.  As a base it was perfect because EVERYTHING was within walking distance.
  12. We used Rick Steves Rome 2011 guide book (now 2012).  It was like a bible.  Read it before hand.  Many sites allow you to book in advance.  Doing so allowed us to walk past a two kilometer lineup to the Vatican.  Imagine standing in 36 Celcius heat for 4 to 5 hours with teens.  I don’t think so.
  13. Tips are included in the restaurant bill.  If the staff are out on the street trying to lure you in, or there is a lavish display out front in English, then you will get a second rate expensive tourist meal.  Instead, get off into the back alleys away from the bigger attractions and go somewhere where it appears the locals are eating.
  14. Don’t be surprised if there are no condiments or salt and pepper on the table.  They are the cooks and you are eathing their masterpiece.  If it needs salt, then salt was already added.
  15. Water comes in “naturel” and “frizzante”.  Your teens might not like the latter because it is carbonated.
  16. In 6 days we saw dozens of churches, Piazza Navona, Castel Sant Angelo, The Vatican, St. Peters, The Colosseum, The Pantheon, The Forum, Palatine Hill, The National Museum, Villa Borghese and the Borghese Gallery, The Trevi Fountain, The Spanish Steps and MUCH more.
  17. We also took a side trip by fast train (270E round trip for 3) to Naples (Napoli) where we caught the Circumvesuviale commuter train to Pompeii.  It delivers you to the door of the ruins.  It was AWESOME and 38 degrees.  Bring water and wear sunscreen.
  18. We took about 4000 pictures.  An 8 gig SD card should cover it.  You can buy another one if you run out.  I had a 32 gig card and could have taken 4000 more pictures than the 1400 I did take.
  19. A compact decent quality camera will do the trick for most situations.  We like Sony because they have a cool panorama feature that we used a lot.  Mine was a step up to a larger sensor in the Sony NEX-3.  It was the most useful for taking shots in low light conditions like at night or in galleries where flash is not allowed.
  20. We all wore Keen or Merrell shoes.  Annette wore a pair of comfortable sandals and they destroyed her feet on the first day.  Sandals appear to be very bad news.  Oh…you’ll do 90% of your walking on cobble stones.
  21. Expect to pay between 60 and 100E for dinner and around 40E for lunch.
  22. The favorites for my teenage sons were the Colosseum, the Forum, The Pantheon, Palatine Hill, The church of San Giovanni in Laterno, Villa Borghese and the National Gallery.  They were less impressed with the Vatican, St Peters and the Spanish steps because of the massive crowds.
  23. Other highlights for the boys (and us) was the fabulous gellati, Italian pizza, the abundance of Smart cars, the crazy drivers and the intricate maze of alleys.  They also marveled at how the most unobtrusive doorways could open up into a sprawling grocery store.
  24. We refilled our water bottles every chance we got at the outdoor drinking water fountains.  Liam was afraid to drink it but Aidan, Annette and I did and suffered no ill effects.

Ok, time to go get started on dinner.  More later.

John McKay’s avulsion fracture of the proximal fifth metatarsal

Written By: admin - Sep• 03•11

UPDATE!

I broke my foot on June 23rd when I was thrown onto the edge of a low platform during a warm up for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.  One of those stupid avoidable injuries.

At first, I thought it was just bruised and I was able to finish the class and drive home, walk the dogs etc.  The following morning however, I couldn’t put any weight on it at all.  I hobbled around for a day, iced it and finally took the advice everyone was giving me and went to the hospital.

The x-rays clearly showed a broken bone.  The doctor told me I could have an air cast or wear a supportive shoe.  I chose the latter because I felt it would give me more mobility.

The first couple of weeks were a bit painful and I limped to favour the injured foot.  I continued to roll at the club but I was careful.

After about 4 weeks I was able to walk a bit better but still with a a pronounced limp.  I could bear about 60% of normal weight without too much pain.

By 6 weeks after the injury I was able to bear full weight on the foot but it still hurt a bit.  I didn’t try to run.  There was still a noticeable bump at the injury site that was tender to the touch.  Sitting cross-legged was too painful to attempt but overall it felt good.

Then we went to Europe and walked A LOT for 16 days.  Although I could feel the injury, it did not trouble me.  It ached a bit at the end of the day and was still a bit tender to the touch.

Now it is approximately 95% healed.  Still a bit tender if I bump it.  I rolled last night and didn’t notice it at all.  I may try and run on it this weekend.

So you can expect 8-10 weeks for a simple fracture like this.  I’m sitting cross-legged on my mats in the basement as I type, and it seems just fine.

So if you do fracture your foot in the same fashion, that is what I went through, so it might by similar for you.

Back to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at Martial Arts Planet

Written By: admin - Sep• 02•11

I have been off for a month.  Parenting issues and our vacation to Europe.  I feel fat and out of shape.

Last night I put my Gi in my bag and slipped through the doors of Martial Arts Planet in time for the competitive class.  It was fun.

Some things change and some things remain the same.  I feel like the lay-off has given me some motivation to get past my plateau.  Even though I found myself holding on too tight on a number of occasions, I also forced myself to let go and try something else as well.  Chris Wellstood, my coach, also sat with me before we rolled to tell me just that.  So although I was tired, I managed not to gas with excessive effort and I remember conciously letting go of an arm, of full guard, of a rear naked choke, of a bow and arrow choke  etc and moving on to something else.  Not exactly a breakthrough but it’s a start.  :)

Something we couldn’t have thought up ourselves

Written By: admin - Sep• 01•11

Liam, Aidan, Annette and I just got back from a 16 day trip to Roma, Pompeii, Paris and Venezia. Annette did a side trip to visit her family in Poland.

The experience was more than worth the cost. So much of what we saw was unexpected. From the dominance of Smart cara in Roma to the way our food was cooked and prepared, everything seemed different.

We noted that stereotypes are often misleading. The Italians for instance, DO have a chaotic lifestyle at first glance. But scratch a bit deeper and a culture of dedication to family and tradition shines through. Parisians are NOT the rudest people in the world (far from it) and Venezia DOES smell…like seawater….duh.

We figured out taxis and hotels and trains and directions and grocery stores just fine thank you and everyone learned how to be resourceful and spontaneous. A good thing for teens to see first hand. Liam and Aidan both think that they could do it on their own now! Cool.

We took some 4000 pictures and will spend quite a while putting together our slideshow.

What I learned:

  • I can now speak to how to travel in Europe with teens and what they find interesting (or not).
  • I can also attest to the fact that it is possible to travel for two weeks with only a carry-on bag (we bought ours from Mountain Equipment Co-op) without wearing smelly clothes or leaving something crucial behind.
  • I saw the benefit of the Panorama feature on our Sony cameras and was grateful for the bigger sensor on my NEX-3 for low light conditions where flash was not allowed (like the Mona Lisa).
  • I think Rick Steves is a travel god and am so happy I bought his Paris and Rome guides. Annette loved his carry on bag.
  • We all wore lightweight quick-drying clothing from MEC. Prana, Under-Armour, Patagonia and yes, Walmart and it kept us cool in the 34-38 degree Rome weather.  Zip-off pants work and are incredibly flexible for summer travel.
  • Renting an apartment in Paris was a great idea and saved us a lot of money because we could cook most of our meals and shop at the very inexpensive local grocery stores and bakeries.
  • The fast trains are expensive but they are FAST.  In the summer they save a lot of time on days when extra hours+heat=cranky travelers.
  • I bought European roaming minutes on my Bell Mobility account and some skype minutes and all our communication was done via skype via wireless.  My HTC Legend smartphone worked great.

More to come soon.

Putting down roots

Written By: admin - Aug• 02•11

We have moved around…A LOT. But we have now been here in Kingston for longer than anywhere else and we like this town. The river is just down the path behind our house. There’s a place where the dogs can swim.

The city is just across the bay. We can see the Canada day fireworks from our deck and some nights I hear the sound of a fox crying in the gully. The cardinals and bluejays perch on the gutters outside my window and always seem to be able to predict when I am about to take a picture.

The dogs are getting a little long in the tooth. We’ve been through a lot together. Chase spends as much time as he can in the water. It’s cool and I think it feels good to float a bit.

Grace

Written By: admin - Aug• 01•11

“Grace” has numerous theological definitions. My definition is of a more secular nature.

“Grace is an unearned gift of momentary happiness that we experience with our family or friends”

This was a pretty rough weekend. There were times though, where it occurred to me that I am very, very blessed to have Liam, Aidan and Annette in my life.